I’ve accumulated hundreds of miles by moto, bike, boat, train, plane, SkyTrain, bus, tuk-tuk, and by foot. In just the past two weeks, these miles have spanned from Phnom Penh to Bangkok, Thailand; to Hanoi, Vietnam; to Luang Prabang, Laos. My feelings toward my fanny pack are the closest I’ve ever felt to motherhood. On the other hand, I forget what my brush looks like.
I walk with my backpack slung to the front, my fanny pack strapped tight, and my head high. Again and again, I draw the question, “Are you traveling alone?”
When asked by another woman, I respond with a truthful “yes.”
When asked by a strange man, I frantically wonder if I should I have Liam Neeson’s number dialed, ready to press call in case I’m *taken,* but then again he’s never answered me before, so why should I believe he’d come save me this time? It’s a harsh reminder of the dangers and vulnerability ascribed to women traveling alone.
Despite the horror stories and double-standards looming over solo female travelers, every girl should take the chance to travel alone. Here are six reasons why young ladies should take some time to take on the world:
You get to be your own boss. It’s a rare time in your life between adolescence and the burdens of Adulthood™ where you can do things for yourself. Being introverted has helped me stay energetic for my own self and pursue a demanding daily itinerary. Most importantly, my time and my pace has been my own. I could rearrange plans without a conversation. Sometimes it took my fifty minutes of exploration to decide on a restaurant, and I didn’t have to worry about how unbelievably aggravating that would be for someone else. Another time, my bus took me to a different destination than promised, leading to a twelve-hour detour on an equally cramped, bumpy bus ride. Alone, I embraced the shameless crying that I barely muffled into my denim jacket.
Practice in planning travel logistics, like sticking to a budget and exchanging currencies. Getting around from city to city can be daunting. With the availability of WiFi, figuring out point A and point B is pretty simple. No matter how stuck you feel, remember: someone has had the same issue before you and has already asked the Internet. The answers are out there.
The importance of self-motivated curiosity. Solo travel allows for reflection outside of needing academic credit or getting a good Insta (not to diminish either of those endeavors). Independence doesn’t have to be inherently mindful, but it can make you reassess the “purpose” of learning about new places and cultures. Is it for self-growth, or perspective? Is it to be a “responsible global citizen,” whatever that means? Or is it because the newness is energizing? Maybe it’s just that Julia Roberts made it look so fun to Eat, Pray, Love? Whatever the reason, you need to get out there to find out.
The slight rush of pride every time the waiter says, “just one?”
Meeting new people! Talk to locals and find out what they think is important for tourists to know. In addition to locals, lonely backpackers are friendly. You’ll become literate in the traveler’s clichés of “finding yourself” and realizing there’s “not just one path, man...there are so many different ways of living, dude.” I’ve hung out with witty, engaging people from Germany, France, China, and even Texas. Avoid the white people with dreads, and you’ll talk to some interesting and fun people from across the world.
Squash the belief that traveling alone as a woman is too dangerous. Yes, there are threats unique to looking like a girl on her own — I don't want to dismiss the way we're preyed upon by preaching girls to "just use common sense!" But with research about wherever you are, a lot of common sense carries over from home. I wasn’t the type to get wildly drunk and stumble alone on the streets of American cities, and nothing has compelled me to be that reckless in new territory. Don't give out personal information to strangers! Don't walk into traffic! The same basic rules of safety apply.
Squash the belief that traveling alone as a woman is too dan6gerous. Yes, there are threats unique to looking like a girl on her own, and I don't want to dismiss the way we're preyed upon by preaching "just use common sense!" But with research about where you are, a lot of common sense carries over from place to place. I wasn’t the type to get wildly drunk and stumble alone on the streets of American cities, and nothing has compelled me to be that reckless in new territory. Don't give out personal information to strangers! Don't walk into traffic! The same basic rules of safety apply.
I could counter this with lengthy post about the cons of solo travel: no splitting costs, having to keep all my jokes to myself, and the natural times of fear. Needless to say, the benefits outweigh the costs.
Women in their twenties deserve to learn about who they are on their own. If the opportunity is there, take advantage of the ability to eat/pray/love. Or eat/eat/sleep.
The takeaway: carve out time to travel alone while you can. I was scared of standing out as the "helpless girl" on her own. But as author Elizabeth Benedict puts it,
“What gives value to travel is fear. It breaks down a kind of inner structure we all have.”
Do your research about where you’re going, memorize how you’re getting there and where you’re staying, and don’t let yourself run out of cash. Buses will go to the wrong destination and immigrations officials will demand a bribe, and that feeling of helplessness will creep up. But you need to strap on that fanny pack and get on the plane, boat, or tuk-tuk. You'll be glad you did.
I’m going to follow up with three separate posts about my itinerary: Bangkok, Thailand; Hanoi, Vietnam; Luang Prabang, Laos. Check back in to learn more about those places!
